Graduation Day

Last night I graduated from the 200 hour yoga teacher training program.  I am going right into the 500 hour program, so it wasn't the end.  It just marked the progression, like graduating from middle school then heading to high school, although with so much still to learn, maybe it is more like getting a certificate at the end of kindergarten, then moving to first grade.

The past six months of teacher training have been a wild ride.  I went into the program expecting to learn how to teach yoga.  I'm not sure if I actually accomplished that.  After teaching my first class, I can definitely say I still have more to learn.  What I wasn't expecting was the personal exploration, the emotional ups and downs, the frustrations and the joys.  I have grown as a person, and that growth came with the realization that there is much more growning to do.

Part of my journey has been letting go.  There is much I am holding on to, physically and emotionally.  I started releasing some of those things on my mat, during reiki treatments, or through my journalling.  Sometimes I didn't even know what needed to go, but I collapsed into child pose and cried for awhile, letting whatever it was flow out.  I've gone to kirtan and asked Shiva to burn out whatever I didn't need, and felt his fire as we chanted.  I can feel the energy moving in my body as it breaks loose and I let it go.

It has been quite a bit to experience in a short time, and my body is suffering.  The releasing has not come without physical side effects.  I have a cold that will not go away, and lots of aches and pains.  I have had to reduce my practice to almost nothing over the past three weeks to try to get myself together.  I've needed to sleep, to change my diet, and to heal.  My teacher reminded me that sometimes things have to get worse to get better, so I am working through the physical issues with the awareness that they are manifestations of something more spiritual, and that I will be a better person, a better yogini, when they pass.

Yesterday was the end of the first step.  Today is the first day of the next one.  I'm sure there are more changes coming, and I welcome them, whatever they are.  I look forward to learning more and growing more.  I am even looking forward to the aches and the pains and the tears.  There is something great at the end of this journey, and every hill and valley brings me closer.